disclaimer: this post is more personal ranting than civil and fair discussion of cultural issues. possible “unprofessionalism” may bleed through the words of this entry. please be advised.
ugh. i expected more from her!!!!
but i guess hindsight is 20/20 because now, looking back, i don’t know why i would’ve expected more from her. she doesn’t strike me as the person to go to for advice on how to live wisely and meaningfully.
a new tuesday talkshow, “hwa-shin”, took over the “strong heart” slot on SBS. the host is kim hee sun, shin dong yeob, and lee jong shin.
the pilot episode’s discussion topic was “what is the one thing that guys can do to win a verbal fight with a girl?” it’s hard to translate into english, because the topic in and of itself is preposterous.
don’t get me started on the issues i have with the topic in general, or about how much i abhor simplifying the complex human interactions into step-by-step rule books as though we’re single-cell amoebas.
i got fired up at the one of the answers that the show presented; though i guess you can’t blame the show for presenting its findings from survey results… which actually worries me, that this answer came out through a free-form survey. what are these boys being taught?!
the top answer from the teen boys to end a verbal fight with their girlfriends was forcing skinship. kissing or forcing a hug to shut the girl up, basically.
WHAT THE HELL?!!! ugh. i had this conversation before. on my personal tumblr and on a couple of past wyckerhearts posts. sigh. no wonder the sex crimes and assaults are happening at a younger and younger age now. and i know that only through the news that wash up on this side of the pacific ocean shores. who knows how much worse it really is over there…
a few of the guys on the guest panel were scratching their heads, like “that’s not right. that mustn’t feel good.” eun ji won even said, “i read somewhere that it (meaning forced skinship) makes you feel uncomfortable (violated).” and i felt a little relieved. surely, surely they would use this opportunity to explain that this is not okay. or at least let eun ji won say more. have these boys learn from a man.
but she! kim hee sun romanticized it! AHHHH. what are you doing, lady?!
i just wanted to throw something at my screen because it now legitimizes this sort of behavior, like the girls will somehow like it. because well, kim hee sun is saying she does, so the other girls should right? she’s the sole woman representative in this gender discussion. so it’s okay, right?
(if i could somehow insert a death glare here…)
and you know, i’m talking like this is korea’s problem right now, but it’s not. it happens here, where i live, in my neighborhood and in my kid brother’s school. it’s happening in your neighborhood too. trust me, i don’t have to know where you live–it happens right there where you live. violations like this happens so frequently that every other girl that walks through my door is battling their inner demons that it has set upon them. that’s probably why these kinds of media messages frustrate me even more to no end. i have faces and names to these girls who struggle and fight for their self worth every moment of their lives because of these violations.
then, the conversation moved on to the topic of the typical interactions between a husband and a wife at the dinner table. and how the men take so long coming to the table that the wives so painstakingly prepared for them. and how wives get so frustrated when the food is getting cold and the husbands are still dawdling in their rooms.
then the guest panel (who are all men, by the way) are suggesting that the wives just wait. how could they just jump up and go when their wives call them? and they started to meander on the topic of what the women should change and why they can’t show up at the dinner table on time, and started to really sound like entitled brats–so much so that kim hee sun threw her script on the table, frustrated and exclaimed, “are women slaves?!” (i still can’t let the other one slide, lady.)
the men still kept on going, saying obnoxious things and–
well, i can’t tell you the rest because i turned the damn thing off. stupid waste of my time. i’m not watching that show again.
i get so irate with something that feels much like despair. and i don’t know what to do. the problem is so pervasive and daunting, i feel like i’m drowning in it.
all i gotta say is, future husband, whoever you are, you best expect to be helping around the house if you wanna be married to me and keep the peace in the house. and that including preparing dinner.
